I'm still here I may have faded But I'm still here and I'm still alive And I'm feeling isolated Sitting by you I'm convinced I've never felt more alone Sitting by your side I'm certain I've never felt less loved You continue- push me away But I love you And there's nothing left to say
But dont you hear me screaming silent: I'm so alone There's no one home for me to talk to Lend me your heart your ear your hand In hopes that I will walk away With one more friend
I'm tired and lonely I'm sad cold and hungry Hungry for tears That may never come And in this God-forsaken house I've never hated myself more Than I swear I've hated myself now And here she comes Walking down the hallway Tears into her eyes Looks like they came Looks like they came In fact,they've never let her down They're not like you The tears- they're not like you They're salty now Resting on her cheek She may not feel so lonely If they keep her company But she does one thing She does it well
But dont you hear her screaming silent: I'm so alone There's no one home for me to talk to Lend me your heart your ear your hand In hopes that I will walk away With one more friend
I'm broken again today I'll be first to admit That I'm not okay But I'm much too tired So I'll just sit And let the pain slowly drift away
Another self operation I'm the nurse the doctor and the patient Cut myself open And let all the pain drain out But I wont and I cant Because they'd all find out And they'd all be shamed But isnt it a shame To let a young girl's soul drift to hell Over some stupid game?
And if I could swear I'd swear that I've been calling your name I've been jumping at your throat To make you understand But you dont and you wont and I'll sigh and I'll cry Just to get my way But things never go my way It's a wonder I'm still breathing sometimes And I know I'm not okay
There isnt much I can do I have to care for myself Even though I could have sworn You said I'd be able to rely on you
I was hoping you'd notice today Take my hand & ask why I'm not breathing I'm drowning in the airs of self doubt But you close your eyes and sigh And I know you cant wait to get away I wish you knew the pain of suffocating on thoughts And I wish you'd realize We may only be here for another day Why is it that boys like you ...they ALWAYS get their way?
Back in the operating room The nurse whispers to me - sweet as can be " Are you okay? " But she knows, yes, she knows She gives me the time and in time I slip away. I'm able to forget I'm able to breathe But thoughts of you Never fail to haunt me So I pull up my knees to my chest And I sigh and I cry Cause you wont be there You're already pushing me away And I cry because I know You cant wait to get away.
nose:go0je3h9jkhgwy3os haha except NOT elbow: b vlkon dedb oim b sxhedll tongue: blondebbombdhellx <--- oh yeahh! chin: bl,ko cd bk m xbdl,l x feet :blondbombshellx <--- hell yeah eyes closed and one finger: blondbombshells back of my hand: blondombshrel.lx palm: b l nde bl m bshnel.l. x2 wrist: l.o/ol nfde nlo m bsu4llx
I decided that I should update my blondbombshell more often. However if I dont update every once in awhile, feel free to check me out under sweetxdreamer21 because thats my other LJ name.
So lately, I'm feeling pretty shitty. School's ending soon, and Steve will be off to Italy July 1st. And then I'm gonna be home all summer. And then he's gonna come back and go to the Bahamas for a week. *sigh* I'm gonna miss him so much. But at least he'll be home all of June & all of August. and like 1.5 weeks in July. Right?
I'm feeling all sneezy and snotty today.
WTF. why does everyone think I'm conceited. Fuck 'em. Grrr
Being so random. I'm so effin tired. I fell asleep on the bus *uck* coming home.
And now I have to go hang out with my 'friends' tomorrow. yay for backstabbers!
waahhh i need my boyfriend.
ps. addicted to rating communities =\ such a dork. total dork
next couple entries will be me-only bc im writing a story that i dont want anyne reading bc people are assholes and steal ideas lol. If anyone wants to read it when I'm thru with it in a couple months ( I hope) then you may comment here and state your reasons!!!
I love you He's said it But even he doesnt believe himself He wonders if he does She knows its not true but she lies to herself she knows his heart she's known his lies she knows he doesnt love her it's tearing her apart but she thinks its nice just to believe even if it is just an empty lie how does she tell him hes everything her heart her mind her life?